Pride & Prejudice in Forks
by TwiHardPotterHead
Summary: Class president and cheerleader Bella Swan has been paired up with newcomer Edward Cullen for a drama project. AH, AU, OOC, BxE, references Pride & Prejudice. Rated M for future lemons and lemony references!
1. P&P: Omelet ala Cullen

**A/N: This is my first time writing teenage BxE. So just bear with it, it's an idea that formed in my head and I couldn't get it out until I posted this. I'll be rotating through my other stories updating wise, plus I'll just see if/how people like this one before updating again. Enjoy kiddies!**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all characters, I just give them a different world to play in.  
**

**EPOV**

A low grumble escaped my lips as I heard the incessant buzzing of my alarm clock.

"I know, I know" I mumbled to no one in particular.

The house was empty, my sister Alice had already left for her shopping expedition with her steady beau, Jasper. They had been dating for barely 6 months but all anyone had to do was see the softness in their eyes when they looked at each other to know that this was something that was meant to be.

I shook my head, stretched my arms and turned around, surveying the mess that was my room. It's not that I'm an unbearably messy person; it just seems that lately keeping a clean room has been low on my priority list.

_I mean it's not like anyone's coming up here anyway._

In one swift move I was up and headed towards the shower. Trying to shake the feeling that I was forgetting something incredibly important, I turned the shower on full blast and stripped down.

After testing the water to make sure it was scalding, just how I like it, I turned to get it. My eyes flitted up for a brief second and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I took a step closer and really took a long hard look at myself.

_Geez Edward – you still look good, but there's not hurt in toning up a bit. _

I made a mental note to hit the gym sometime this weekend with my best friend Emmett. Emmett was Jasper's cousin and Alice's best friend Rosalie's boyfriend. Not just that, the guy was built like a fridge, typical jock, and was always a motivating factor in the gym. Whenever you stood beside him, you always felt … inferior.

I jumped in the shower, making it quick because the rumbling in my stomach would not subside. I grabbed a towel and wiped the steam off the mirror.

_You know what, on second thought – you're a catch Cullen._

I gave a little chuckle, winked at myself and wrapped the towel low around my waist. Hell, since I was alone in the house I could probably walk around naked if I felt like it. As tempting as that sounded, I decided to stick with the towel and headed downstairs to make some breakfast.

I was searching the fridge for cheese to go with the eggs, green onion, bell pepper and tomato I had on the counter for a killer omelet when it hit me.

_SHIT!_

Suddenly I remembered what was so important and I started to silently curse myself out. How could I have forgotten?

I took a quick glance at the clock and before I could even blink the door the bell rang.

Forgetting I was wearing only I towel, I sprinted across the kitchen, through the dining room and opened the door.

**BPOV**

I can't believe I had to be paired up with him.

Edward Cullen. Ugh. Great, this was going to be a fun filled day.

I woke up this morning hoping to catch up on my reading for my AP English class, not that I was behind – I just liked being ahead. I was further ahead on my thesis project than anyone else in the class – even Mr. Wonderful himself. But instead I was here about to ring the doorbell of the Cullen mansion so that I could work with him on our drama presentation.

Every girl, and even a guy or two, at Forks High had simultaneously swooned the day that the infamous Edward Cullen arrived. He had walked into my homeroom one morning with this cocky look on his face. Running his hands through that odd colored hair that was never brushed, let alone styled, he looked around the room and eventually ended up in the seat next to me.

I didn't really think of him until I noticed that he seemed to end up in 4 out of my 7 classes. Well that and the fact that his name was on every person's tongue.

"I heard that he was adopted by the Cullens because he slept with his old foster mom."

"Well, I heard that he only dates college chicks and that he dated a former play boy bunny."

"Yeah well I heard that he was arrested for dealing drugs and that's why he has to live with the Cullens!"

"I heard that he was gay!" That last one no one really paid much attention to because ever since Mike Newton came out of the closet he had been trying to get some play in Forks.

His presence wasn't so much unwelcomed as it was annoying. I mean, 2 weeks later and all people could talk about was him still. I don't know what they all thought was great about him. He was just another teenager like us, trying to survive FHS until we graduated and moved onto bigger and better things.

I wasn't blind though, he was gorgeous. Almost freakishly gorgeous. His skin was alabaster and his complexion completely flawless – a trait that very few 17 year old males had – and complimented his deep green eyes. They were the kind of eyes that expressed every emotion flawlessly, if he was mad or confused they were darker than usual but when he was with his sister and her friends they were a lighter in color.

And yes, he had a killer body. But his best friend was Emmett, aspiring jock extraordinaire – the biggest linebacker we've seen since, well ever. If I didn't know him so well I would have thought he was on roids.

But that aside, our drama teacher, Mr. Reichert, had paired us together to recreate a dramatic scene from a novel of our choosing. And thus, I find myself wasting an entire Saturday with pretty boy Cullen just to appease Mr. R.

Thankfully, Edward had said that he didn't care what we did as long as it wasn't some sappy love scene, so I figured that I'd use it to my advantage and take him down a peg.

I reached up and rang the door bell, not prepared for the sight I was about to see when I opened that door.

**EPOV**

_Shit!_

I threw open the door and was met with a pair of cold, brown eyes staring at me.

"Took you long enough Cullen." Bella said a little annoyed. Her eyes shot down to my "outfit" and she scoffed. "Well, if I knew this was informal dress I wouldn't have bothered with pants."

I puffed my chest out a little and gave her a smirk, "Oh well, you could always change inside." I raised my eyebrows at her and laughed. She rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.

I was letting my thoughts run away with me but before they got too far her voice interrupted them.

"Can I come inside or are we going to be working from the confines of your doorway?" Her face was less than amused. I guess she was really dreading the work we had ahead. I mean, not that I was jumping at the chance to work with Bella Swan: Ice Princess.

I stepped aside and let her pass by me, not ignoring the scent that seemed to follow her. It smelled like some high end perfume with a hint of something sweet, strawberries or something. I followed her and closed the door.

"So I'm going to change, make yourself at home. I'll be down in a minute." I started back up the stairs. I saw her sit on the couch and start emptying the contents of her bag. Shaking my head, I opened my door and decided on something to wear.

Bella, it's not that she was a bitch or anything, but she was the smartest girl in our class. Well, fuck, our high school. Always the first hand up in class to answer a question, the first one done with a test or paper or assignment even if it wasn't due for weeks. It was like she needed to prove her intelligence, when in reality it just made her look like a stuck up know-it-all.

She was the class president and a cheerleader. But she could work that uniform and something about her just screamed naughty librarian fantasy, especially when she wore her glasses and had her hair up in a tight ponytail. Bella had a killer body, curves in all the right places, luscious and full lips that tempted you, begging you to kiss them. But no one ever did.

From what I heard, she spent all her time either studying or at cheerleading practice. Alice had told me that she had a line of guys around the block trying to get with her but she never dated any of them. She probably thought she was too good for them, and in truth she probably was but seriously, it's just high school – let loose and lower your standards a bit. But that's how she earned her Ice Princess nickname; she wasn't a full blown queen because well, I could tell there was freak lurking under that façade.

I grabbed a pair of dark, tighter fitting jeans and threw them on, deciding to go commando as I usually do, and I scrounged around my drawers for a clean shirt. I had settled on my favorite band shirt that I had gotten at a Spill Canvas concert, it was black with the band's logo on it.

Slipping it over my head after throwing on some deodorant, I headed back down to the living room where I had left Bella.

"I hope you have a copy of Pride and Prejudice, I figured we could do a scene from there." She didn't bother looking up as she started flipping through the worn out copy she had brought.

"You're in luck, I'm using it for my thesis in English, so yes – I do have a copy." I grabbed my backpack from the front hall and flopped down on the chair opposite her. I got a good look at what she decided to wear to my house. She was sporting a short denim skirt that reached barely mid-thigh, and a tight green v-neck sweater with a white camisole underneath. And the sexiest part of the outfit was the pair of old school black converse she was wearing, the low tops. She was wearing those glasses that I love so much and made me want to do incredibly dirty things to her in the library.

"Okay, so I'm thinking - " She started and my stomach interrupted her. "What was that?"

I laughed and said, "You caught me off guard this morning, I completely forgot about the assignment and I was in the middle of making breakfast when you rang the bell."

"You always cook in a towel?" Her head tilted and she bit the tip of her pen.

"When no one else is in the house I like to pretend I'm Jamie Oliver." I laughed and ran my hand through my hair. "You know, the naked chef?"

She smiled slightly, "I know who he is." Her voice had a hint of disdain. "I mean, I watch the Food Network religiously, it's sort of a guilty pleasure. And plus he's so hot." Her hands were moving wildly as she tried to explain herself.

"So, do you mind if I make something to eat then we can get started?" I gave her the best puppy dog eyes I could muster.

"How about I make you a deal?" She looked at me straight in the eyes. I was slightly taken aback by her eye contact, I mean, we had hardly acknowledged each other before being forced on this project together, and now I felt like her eyes were looking straight through me. "You can make something to eat, only if we brainstorm scene ideas while you're doing it."

"Deal!" I jumped up and started towards the kitchen where the veggies, cheese and eggs were already waiting. She followed me and took a seat on the stool at the breakfast nook. I started chopping the red bell pepper and popped a piece into my mouth. "Oh god, I'm such an ass. Do you want something to drink or eat?"

She laughed and just shook her head. "No thanks, what are you making anyway?"

I put on my best cooking show voice and straightened my shirt, throwing a towel over my shoulder and looked at her. "Well, today we're making an Omelet ala Cullen."

"And what exactly goes in one of those?" She looked at me with slight apprehension.

"First, we start off by heating the pan with a little butter – not oil, butter!" I did my Paula Dean impression. "Then, while that's heating up, we chop up some red bell peppers, a little green onion and crack open a few eggs." I was putting on a little show for her, cracking the eggs more dramatically than I would have if I had been doing this alone.

"And then?" She was loosening up a little, letting herself be amused by my little show. Whether it was because I was actually funny or she thought I was making fool out of myself, I could care less, I was having fun.

"Well," I whisked the eggs and poured them into the pan, letting it settle and then flipping it once to cook both sides. "We're going to put the egg in the pan and add all our other stuff in. I like to wait until now to grate a little cheese on the inside, but mostly I put the cheese on top." I set down the cheese and reached up in the cabinet above the stove and grabbed a can, hiding it behind my back.

"Now, for the secret ingredient." I whipped out the can from behind my back and grinned.

"SPAM? Ew you're not serious are you?" She looked absolutely disgusted, as does almost everyone that are witness my omelet making skills. There was that Ice Princess routine, it's like she didn't want people to see the real her. "I mean, it's not even meat! Look, it's still shaped like the can!" She scoffed.

I laughed and proceeded to open the can up and slid out the meat product that was inside. We looked at the ominous blob sitting on the counter.

"But that's all part of its appeal!" I was arguing for my beloved meat product. I checked the egg in the pan and started cutting thin strips of Spam. I added in some ground pepper and a little hot sauce then folded the omelet over. Using the unoccupied half of the pan, I laid the Spam strips down and let them cook.

"Why Spam? I mean, can't you just use a normal meat?" Bella was looking at the pan questioningly.

"Why be normal?" I grinned and flipped the Spam over. Turning around I poured two glasses of orange juice and handed one to her. I heard the familiar popping from the pan letting me know my Spam was ready for the eating. I put the omelet on a plate and topped it with the Spam strips, using the carryover heat to my advantage I grated a little more cheese on top and watched it start melting the minute it hit the Spam.

"Ah, a beautiful masterpiece. And that is how to make an Omelet ala Cullen." I said triumphantly.

Grabbing the plate and two forks I headed around the counter and sat down in the stool next to her. I handed her one of the forks and waited.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" She asked after taking a sip of her OJ.

"Uh, use it to eat, duh." I cut a piece off and took a big bite. "Mmmm… so good!"

"I'm not eating that." She looked at me like I had just asked her to devour a cadaver.

"You have to try it; I mean you can't knock it until you try it." I smiled at her, giving her my most charming smile and trying to get her to bend to my will. "Please, and you can pick whatever scene you want to and I'll do it, no protest."

I could care less if she liked my omelet or not, this was about the principle of the matter. I was going to break her on this.

**BPOV**

Ugh, he was seriously not going to let up on this omelet shit. And I wanted to get started on this project sometime this morning so I caved.

"Any scene?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He nodded and then pushed the plate towards me. I shook my head slightly and picked up my fork. I speared a piece of the egg creation and held it up in front of me. Possibly regretting this challenge, I took the bite and chewed it slowly.

"Well?" He was looking at me anxiously, awaiting my judgment. I finished chewing and swallowed. Damn, it was actually good. Ugh, is there anything he didn't do right?

"Not bad, I mean, for processed meats." I said shrugging slightly. He grinned and the smile on his face was mocking me.

"Told ya." He focused his attention back on his food. "So, what scene you want to do? And why this book?"

"Well, I figured that it didn't really have a lot of sappy scenes but it still evoked emotion. Plus, Austen is one of my favorite authors." I explained thumbing through my book. "And I was thinking of the first proposal scene. You know where Darcy asks Lizzie to marry him and she shoots him down?"

He chewed a piece of his omelet, and then nodded his head. "So I'd be Darcy and you'd be killing my ego?"

Exactly.

"Well, yeah I mean unless you wanted to be Lizzie?" I grinned. I handed him the book that was opened to the scene. I watched him read over it and then looked up at me. His big green eyes were almost sparkling. I dismissed that thought and figured that it was just the lighting in the room rather than some magic talent he possessed.

"I think I'll stick to Darcy. Although the thought of role reversal would certainly liven up the scene a little." He speared the last piece of omelet and walked over to the sink to rinse of his plate as well as the rest of the dishes he had just done.

Hmm, someone's momma trained him well.

"Yeah, but let's be honest. I think people would rather see me in the dress than you." I shot back. There was no way I was letting him entertain the idea of me being Mr. Darcy and getting shot down for marriage. "Plus, I already know the lines for Lizzie."

"Why?" He looked at me from the sink. He was elbow deep in soap bubbles and had a curious look on his face. Ugh, I just wanted to slap him.

"Because I too am using this for my thesis for English and this is one scene that I discuss at length." I answered. Why did he care anyway?

"Alright, alright. Just asking." He put his hands up in a mock surrender. After rinsing all the extra soap off he dried off with a towel and then motioned toward the living room. "Let's get this started."

I stood up and smoothed my skirt. I let my eyes rest on his tight ass as we walked to the living room.

WHOA! Get it together Swan, remember you hate this kid. Game face on. And here goes nothing.

**A/N: Eeee, I hope you like. I totally understand if you don't. It's just something I needed to do!**

**As always: Props to my Beta - CaughtMyselfFalling, she is a goddess of smut go check out her stories!**

**R&R R&R R&R  
**


	2. P&P: Oh Mr Darcy

**A/N: I know, I know. I promise that I haven't abandoned this story. I really love it, it's just kind of my side project. I am going to be wrapping up one of my other fics soon so I'll have time to devote to this one! And I want you all to go check out "For the love of music" by laurajaexo. It's pretty awesome and one of my favorites on this site! Okay, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - Steph. Meyers. owns. all.  
**

**EPOV**

I settled into my favorite chair and waited for Bella. She meticulously unpacked her back, laying her notebook and pens in a systematic fashion – the notebook was on the left and all 3 pens were on the other side of her book, lined up straight and completely parallel. Hmm, slight OCD much? I smiled at this thought and her voice brought me back down to reality.

"Edward, did you hear me?" She looked at me expectantly. Uh, crap.

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p' because I knew it would piss her off that I wasn't on the edge of my seat listening to her every word.

She huffed. "As I was trying to say – do we want to do a more update version of the scene like in the remake that just came out or stick to the original work?"

I ran my hand through my hair and shrugged. "Honestly I could care less, but most people yawn when it comes to the classics, it couldn't hurt to vamp it up a little and since you _obviously_ know more than me about it, why don't you take a crack at it first."

Scowling, she grabbed her notebook and began jotting down notes while talking to herself softly. Every now and then she would shake her head and scratch something out then start again. It amazed me how when she was really perplexed about something her left foot would begin tapping until she figured it out and then she couldn't write it down fast enough.

_Pretty little lady with the pretty pink thong  
Every sugar daddy hittin' on her all night long  
Doesn't care about the money she could be with anybody  
Ain't it funny how the honey wanted you all along_

Bella looked up from her notebook with a raised eyebrow as I checked the caller I.D. on my phone. Tanya, great. I held my finger up to Bella and slid the phone open.

"Cullen Fertility Clinic. You spank it, we bank it." I said while grinning and catching an eye roll from Bella. Being the totally mature male specimen that I am, I stuck my tongue out at her while I listened to the nasally voice on the other end.

"Eddie-poo! It's me, your Tawnie-bear." I shook my head slightly, I hated that damn nickname and the only reason she got away with it was because, well she got away with whatever she wanted. You didn't say "no" to Tanya Denali that was for sure.

"Hey babe, what's crackin'?" I glanced over at Bella who was pretending to read over her notes but her eyes hadn't moved an inch.

"Nothing, I just missed you. Are we still on for tonight? Or did you want me to drop by earlier, I know you've got that big house to yourself and I can think of a few things to do that could pass the time." She was trying to sound seductive but it came out as, well, desperate. I sighed softly.

It wasn't like Tanya wasn't a fine piece of ass, it was just, to me that's all she was – a piece of ass and not potentially wifey material. She on the other hand misinterpreted me letting her slob my knob as asking her to be my girlfriend. Women.

"Baby, you know that I would love for that, but I'm in the middle of my drama project with Bella and I don't know when I'll be done." I looked over at Bella who blushed slightly at being caught eavesdropping. I chuckled softly and turned my attention back to Tanya.

"But, Edddiieeeee." I winced. "I wanted to see you today. Will you call me when you're down with that skank?" I could hear the venom dripping from her voice over the phone… and so could Bella.

She mouthed "skank" and pointed to herself with a look of shock. I nodded slightly and waited for it. Before I knew what was happening the phone was ripped out of my hand I heard Bella's voice turn from sweet to deadly and laced with innuendo.

"Hi, Tanya is it? This is the aforementioned skank. Just to let you know that Edward, or Eddie-poo, as you delicately put it, are going to be working _long _and _hard_ on this project all night and I'm afraid by the time we're done he'll be too worn out to play." She threw the phone back at me with a smirk and went back to highlighting passages.

"EDWARD! Are you there? Are you going to let her talk to me like that?!?" My phone was screeching at me. I reluctantly picked the phone back up and said a quick goodbye with a promise of a call later, it was the only way she'd get off the phone.

"Now," I turned to Bella. "what the hell was that for Swan?" I tried to keep my voice hard and act a little pissed off. The truth was I had never been more impressed by a chick before, Swan had some big brass ones – well, metaphorically speaking, I hoped.

"Really Cullen?" She wasn't even pretending that she didn't know what was going on like most girls would. "Nothing against you, I don't care where your dick goes but she was getting on my nerves. And then she had the nerve to call me a skank? Um, last time I checked I wasn't the one that blew the wrestling team last year on the bus to Port Angeles." Her face was flushed with anger and the tips of her ears were red as well. Man, she really hated Tanya.

"Whoa, whoa Swan. Slow your roll. It's cool, I was just marveling at the size of your metaphorical balls." I grinned hoping to calm her down slightly.

"Are they bigger than yours?" She said coyly while biting her bottom lip. Fuck, what the hell?

"Well, we could always take this upstairs and compare." I couldn't help myself as I threw in a wink.

"Cullen – keep dreaming and maybe one day you'll actually grow a pair that could compare with mine." She quickly added, "Not that I care or anything, but for your sake – you've got a rep to protect." I waggled my eyebrows at her and kept grinning

"As much fun as this is, I kind of want to get this shit done so let's get busy." I reached for her notebook and was blown away by how much she had accomplished in 20 minutes. If I played my cards right, I may not have to do anything for this project, fucking sweet.

And as if she was reading my thoughts she said, "Don't think that I'm going to do all the fucking work Cullen. I just want to make sure my grade doesn't suffer because of you."

"Swan, seriously? You do know I have above a 4.0 right? It's not going to suffer because of me, in fact it should be the other way around." I shot back.

This really wasn't getting us anywhere, but I sighed and looked up at her and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sorry, okay? I promise I'll pull my share of the project." I gave her my best puppy dog eyes and pouted a little.

**BPOV**

What the hell was with this kid, Jekyll and Hyde much? Whatever, he was pretty adorable when he pouted so I figure I let him suffer a little more. After all, he did insult my intelligence. But then again, I insulted his.

"Fine, you're forgiven. Just, don't make that face – you look like you're constipated." Which was a complete lie, but like I'd even tell Edward Cullen that he looked irresistible when he pouted, yeah – his is an ego I don't need to inflate any more.

"What! Lies!" He grabbed at his chest and put on a shocked face. "The Cullen Pout is flawless and works every time." Grinning he went back to looking at my notes.

"Alright, here's what I'm thinking. We volunteer to go first so that we can a) get it out of the way, and b) set the standard impossibly high. Plus, Mr. R always gives a little more leeway to the group the goes first, something about courage and blah blah blah." I looked and him while slightly tugging on my earlobe, a nervous habit that I've had ever since I watched "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" with my mother one night.

"Sounds good Swan, sounds good." He tossed the notebook back and looked at me. "So do we want to rewrite the dialogue to something that can be understood by the burnouts that attend FHS? Or keep the original and just confuse the hell out of everyone?"

I bit my lip slightly and thought about it. I loved the original language; it just seemed so much more thought provoking and real. But then again, not everyone could appreciate Austen, kind of like Shakespeare – it was just easier to understand him when he was translated into modern English.

"Definitely translate. I mean, the original words are to die for but - " I began.

"But Forks High just wouldn't appreciate the romanticism and subtly that Austen laces her monologues with." Edward finished.

I swear my jaw dropped a little and I gawked at him. He got it, not very many people do – let alone jockheads like him. I was more than surprised.

"That's where you were going with that right? I didn't mean to put words in your mouth." He said quietly.

I shook my head 'no' and smiled. "Actually that's exactly what I was thinking. So it'll be easier on our classmates if we just tweak the scene and made it a little more modern."

"Alright that's settled. Let's talk about the actual scene. Are we going to do it in front of the class or did you have something else in mind?" I couldn't help but blush at all the sexual innuendos that were in that sentence and I let out a small chuckle.

"What, what's so funny?" Oh great – he didn't even realize that he was making pervy comments in the first place. I am such a horn dog, I mean they were completely innocent statements but I had to go and make them all about sex. Maybe I should listen to Jessica, my 'best friend forever!' and finally get laid.

"Swan… Earth to Bella!" Edward was waving his hands in front of my face and I shook my head.

"Huh?"

"Smooth Swan, way to be a space cadet. I was asking about the actual scene and how you wanted to do it."

"Oh." Smooth Bella, you're really eloquent. "I was thinking we could film it at the park and just play the DVD to the class, take questions or anything and do our presentation that way."

"Sounds good." Edward stood up and stretched. His shirt rode up and gave me a super delicious view of those abs I've heard everyone raving about. "How about you work on translating the lines and I'll get started on the importance of this scene in the book. Are we supposed to compare and contrast of just do a critical analysis?"

"Either. I think it may be easier to compare it to other declarations of love in the 'classic' romance books. Something like, how Darcy's declaration of love, albeit unorthodox is a more vulnerable and significant one than Romeo's to Juliet, even though he gets rejected he throws himself on the line at the time when he is most likely to be rejected. He didn't wait for her to pine for him, he went out and got his girl – well tried at least." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I always thought that Romeo was a bit overrated, give me a Darcy any day and I tell you what, he can sweep me off my feet anytime!

I heard Edward chuckling softly, then louder and louder until he was on the ground rolling around.

"What!" I stood up and looked at him.

"Oh my Darcy!" He said in a high pitched voice, trying to mimic me. Ugh, shit did I say that last part out loud? Fuck my life. "Come take me away from Forks and all this madness, forget about Romeo, it's you I've always wanted!"

I could feel my face flushing red and I knew I resembled a tomato but I couldn't care. I walked over to where he was on the floor and kicked him slightly.

"Cullen I swear to God, I'm going to fucking cut you if you tell anyone this." I stood with my hands on my hips and watched him wipe the tears from his eyes from crying. I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes willing him to stop.

Suddenly it was silent and I opened one eye tentatively. I looked down and saw Edward Cullen looking straight up – and not at me. I didn't realize where I was standing when I huffed over there and I was now standing next to his head, giving him a free peak up my skirt.

"EDWARD CULLEN! STOP LOOKING UP FUCKING MY SKIRT NOW!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and stomped back over to where I was sitting before.

I began gathering up my stuff, fully prepared to leave and deal with this shit later. The only good thing out of all this was that I had, by the grace of God, put on the cutest pair of midnight blue boy shorts when I got dressed this morning.

I could hear him starting to protest my leaving but I flipped him the bird and ignored it. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and walked through the living room and hand my hand on the front door when it opened and I saw the last person I expected.

**A/N: That thing about the ear tugging is something that I actually do in life. In the movie the advice is given that dogs calm down when you play with their ears and ever since then I've always tugged on my ears when I'm nervous - it's strange, I know I'm not a dog but, nervous habits are just that - random and habitual. Hope you all enjoyed :)**


	3. Important AN!

Hey guys –

Just wanted to let you know that my one shot "One Last Time" is up for best one shot at the All Human Twilight Awards and voting ends tomorrow. There are some really awesome fics there and the link is in my profile as well as right here: http: // twilightallhumanawards(dot)webs(dot)com - remove the spaces and (dot)s

I know I've been shite about updating BUT the good news is:

A Night to Remember – ¾ of this next chapter is already done. I'm about 90% sure it will be up on Wednesday.

Pride & Prejudice in Forks – is finished and waiting for last minute grammatical changes and will 100% be up on Tuesday.

First Impression – is really giving me a hard time but I'm really trying to work around the block that I have for it; it's about halfway there, so expect that last out of all of them.

It's no excuse really, but my work has been mandating overtime lately and we're just about to start up as the new school year is too. So I apologize profusely and hope that you all will bear with me a little longer as I break through the writer's block and get out some quality chapters.

Thanks for all your reviews and support. I really do appreciate every single one of them.

-OhThoseCullenBoys


	4. P&P: Bad Boys Bad Boys

**A/N: Here it is! Real note at the bottom since I figure you all would want to get straight to reading! Enjoy :)**

**Charlie POV**

"ISABELLA – IN THE CAR NOW!" I boomed, swinging the door open while simultaneously aiming my drawn weapon at the Cullen kid who was currently frozen in place. "Cullen, so help me god if you move I'll take your head off."

I watched the retreating figure of my daughter exit the household and as soon as she was out of sight I marched over and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"I don't play games boy, and I don't bullshit. You have exactly 30 seconds to tell me what happened here before I cuff you and bring you in for attempted rape." My voice was harsh and unforgiving as I stared him down.

"Chief, come on you really think that's going to hold up?" He asked, his voice a mixture of fear and smugness.

I lifted the barrel of my gun eye level and lowered my voice. "Make that 20."

His eyes widened and he began babbling.

"… talking about Jane Austen…" His voice was grating my nerves and I tilted my head to the side, my neck giving off a loud crack as it eased some of the tension that had built up. Not like it was there this morning, I told myself as I thought back to how just an hour ago my day started off perfectly fine.

It was like any morning. Bella made breakfast, I reveled in the fact that somehow she got the genetics to make killer pancakes and we ate in silence. But this morning two words brought me out of my syrup induced haze.

"… over to Edward Cullen's house…"

My fork stopped mid-air and I cocked my head to the side while looking at my daughter.

"Excuse me?" I managed.

"Dad, I told you about a thousand times – I have to do a project at the Cullen's house today." She huffed. "You said you'd bring me there before work, remember?"

I grunted in response and continued on with my love affair with Aunt Jemima. Bells rolled her eyes and started on the dishes as finished up.

I didn't like that Cullen kid. Well, more specifically, I didn't like Edward Cullen – the rest of them were pretty decent folk even though they managed to raise a little hellion like Edward.

Ugh. That damn kid actually made me start having to do more than check on the local Save Mart to make sure that no one was jerry rigging the mechanical airplane for quarters. Ever since he showed up, it seemed that it was his sole job to keep the Forks Police Department on its toes and the daughters of Forks on their backs. Whether or not that was true wasn't my business but hell if I let my little girl get mixed up with him.

I sighed and straightened out my hat after dropping Bells off at his house for a project. I trusted my daughter and knew that it wasn't more than that. I saw the way her face screwed up when his name was brought into our dinner conversation.

Sometimes I think she hated that kid more than I did.

Pulling out of the driveway I grabbed the mike and radioed into the station to let them know that I was on my way.

"Dispatch, it's the Chief, I'll be at the station in about 10 minutes. Over." I set the mike in its holder and waited for a reply.

"Hi Chief Swan! Take your time, nothing's going on. Over." The high pitched voice broke through the radio as Jessica, the deputy's daughter, replied. I shook my head and threw on my blinker when I reached the stop sign.

That girl was something else. She was Bells' best friend but I would be money that she couldn't tell anyone what Bella's favorite … anything was. But Bells loved her and therefore, I tolerated her.

I thought about the wasted weekend – Billy and I were supposed to go fishing but Deputy Dumb Fuck, my newest recruit, got himself locked up with his handcuffs while engaging in something with his girlfriend that I didn't know even know was legal in this state. A few of our boys had to cut him down last night and now he was being held overnight for injuries to his wrist.

Boo fucking hoo.

Well maybe this day wouldn't be such a waste, Bella and I had been meaning to take a trip up to Seattle for a tour of the campus and now we had time. I whipped out my cell phone and hit speed dial 2.

_Bad boys_

_Bad boys  
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do  
When they come for you  
Bad boys, bad boys  
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do  
When they come for you_

I groaned slightly at the sound and chuckled to myself. The girl was something else. I hit end and pulled over to the shoulder. I unbuckled and felt around the floorboard until I found the phone that must have dropped from her pocket.

Well, time to make a trip to the Cullens. I called into the dispatch, told them about my pit stop and pulled a quick U turn.

I was walking up the obnoxiously long pathway when I heard the distinct sound of Bella's voice and the words "up my skirt" when I hastened my walk and began sprinting up the path. Before I could kick the door in I was met with Bella who looked just as pissed as I felt. I instructed her to wait in the car and went inside.

Which is where I find myself currently listening to a frantic teenage boy talking to the barrel of my gun.

"I swear – I didn't mean to!" He resigned.

I sighed and lowered my gun, putting the safety back on and holstering it safe away on my hip.

"Cullen, I don't give a rat's ass about what your excuse was. Just don't let me catch you violating my daughter in any way shape or form. And she will only be alone with you on school projects – and hell, I may even supervise those." I grunted. "Now, get off your damn knees and act like a man. Go out to the car and apologize to my baby girl before I change my mind and you can pay your old man a visit via the ER today."

I moved sideways to let Edward through, knocking his shoulder slightly to remind him who was boss, as he made his way to the cruiser. I took my hat off and shook my head.

I shoulda just went fishing.

**A/N: Okay guys, short chapter I know – I started the next one and it's going to be B/E interaction and help move along the story line. I want you to know that I am so grateful for every single one of you readers and I honestly appreciate when you favorite or alert or review my stories. So a huge thank you for all! Until next time…**


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